one word for 2023: Bancal, another word for messiness.

Here comes 2023 and all our lot of self-reflections, declaration, determination. - I am the first one to send messages to my friends and community to wish everyone health, joy, creativity. And this activity is lovely. At the same time, it’s a weird ritual, a collective story we tell ourselves to move forward. Happy New Year… The king is dead, long live the king.

I feel conflicted with so many things… And I’m wondering, am I the only one? I feel expected to come with a rejoiced energy.

I feel weird, cranky, pressured…first by my lower back.

I tried to stretch and it feels great and then I go on with the day and the pain comes back. I read about the possible causes from a physical and psychological point of you… and what stick with me is: Bad postures.

So I stretch and I stretch and I stretch and the more I stretch the more I just want to do that, stretch; because the minute I stop stretching I feel unbalanced, weird, sad, lost, unfocused, stuck.

And I trust the process, I continue to stretch and I look online

And the English moral philosopher Mary Midgley, writing in Wickedness (1984):

[Doctor Jekyll] was partly right: we are each not only one but also many… Some of us have to hold a meeting every time we want to do something only slightly difficult, in order to find the self who is capable of undertaking it… We spend a lot of time and ingenuity on developing ways of organising the inner crowd, securing consent among it, and arranging for it to act as a whole. Literature shows that the condition is not rare.

We are now in March… Today I finished a physical theater workshop playing with the dark clown, and I feel relieved and creative. I am unbalanced and focused. My dark clown helped me to be focused and bancale.

Life is not a series of gig lamps symmetrically arranged; life is a luminous halo, a semi-transparent envelope surrounding us from the beginning of consciousness to the end.